The Average Hell House Stories Chapter 11.5:Eyes To Your Soul

The contacts of my heart fell in love with you,

Each word expressed was not enough to be said,

Even though all i wanted to say was 'I Love You',

I was no longer the life i felt before because i am now dead.

Your heart as if so slumber,

As i blew my self into the wind,

I feel now what i feel in winter,

Because all that is left of me is but grains of sand.

You are'nt here for me because you can't be,

Because you love the one whom touched your lips,

I hoped to love you not for now and forever more,
But this cut in my heart is deapened by her kiss.

It was wrong of me to think it was you,

Because you were playing a game of chess,

I was in the shadows listening to 'IOU',

And you fled from the scene in distress.

These are not the only words i feel inside,

But how can the rest be expressed,

You've found the black hearted bride,

And the character i played has long died.

Mother would only blame me for the troubles of you,

For only i am to blame for not being loved,

Because i helplessly fall for the stereotypes like you,

Hoping that one day soon i too could be appreciated.

I keep telling my self that it was time to forget,


But i never wanted that moment to end,


I just can't decide between the desire and lust,


Though i knew we were never fated.

If you asked me to smile just to make me happy,

It would never work out the way it was intended,

Because when i think of you the skies are a grey,

And the beginning to the end had only ended.

How could i ever give to you her beauty and passion,

Whilst i'm ugly and pittifull to glance upon,


She fills your heart with romance unspoken,


And you wouldnt give her up for a dime or a dozen.

Yes you fit the personality well,

But perhaps i was blinded by that only reason,

My dearest thougts of you are deppressing to tell,

Whilst the only fact is that you are my poison.

It's so hard to resist that you are that,

You appear and disappear from my life like magic,

For an instance i am out of breath in your sight,

You're like a high that makes me feel fantastic.

The suttle wind can only remind me to forget,

Though like an addcit i come back for more,

I guess you are the worst of any habbit,

And yes you know how to leave a woman sore.

Though these are only words out of the many,

These are the very last addressed to you,

I shall move on and blow freely,

And clear all memories and last thoughts of you.

I'm sorry i can't be the one for you,

Or more to say i'm sorry for myself being me,

Though the sindicating lines in my membranes indicate you,

You are a thought i must now leave.

The Average Hell House Stories Chapter 11:I Say A Little Prayer For You

Every night since mummy first thought me the holly words at age 3,
I say prayers before I go to sleep,
It was after my beloved grandfather passed away on my 3’rd birthday,
That she had prescribed me with two unforgettable prayers which are the ‘Surah Al-Fatihah’ & ‘Surah Al-Ikhlas’
So every night since then I would pray before I sleep,
I say a few prayers to me keep myself reminded of the one and true,
To remind me everyday & every night that life on earth is a temporary stay….
That I should not indulge myself to much into the riches of the world….
That I should keep myself closer to ‘Ar-Rahman’ & ‘Ar-Rahim’ who is ever so 'Loving' & 'Forgiving' on us the mortal's that sin upon all that is forbidden….
And to fear the unknown judgment day ahead….

I begin with the Surah Al-Fatihah,
Then the Surah Al-Ikhlas,
Continued by the ‘Shahadah’
And ended with the ‘Selawat’ to the Prophet Muhammad s.a.w.

After residing the prayers I would then say the following:
Dear god almighty Allah s.w.t please protect my family from all the evil’s of the world & forgive them of the sin’s they have committed towards you today.
Please protect my grandmother from all the evil’s of the world & forgive my grandmother of the sin’s she has committed towards you today dear god.
Please protect my father and mother from all the evil’s of the world & forgive my father & mother of the sin’s they have committed towards you today dear god.
Please protect my sisters and brother from all the evil’s of the world & forgive my sisters and brother of the sin’s the have committed towards you today dear god.
Please protect Anna of all the evil’s of the world & forgive her of the sin’s she has committed towards you today dear god.
Please forgive the sin’s of others towards me today & forgive the sin’s I have committed towards others today dear god.
Please grant the small wishes I have made today.

The Average Hell House Stories Chapter 10.5:Walking Down Autumn Road....

I was a little girl alone in my little world,

Who dreamed of a little home for me.
I played pretend between the trees,

And fed my houseguests bark and leaves,

And laughed in my pretty bed of green.

I had a dream,
That I could fly from the highest swing,

I had a dream.

Long walks in the dark,

Through woods grown behind the park,

I asked God who I'm supposed to be.

The stars smiled down on me,

God answered in silent reverie.
I said a prayer and fell asleep.

I had a dream,

That I could fly from the highest tree.

I had a dream.

Now I'm old and feeling grey,
I don't know what's left to say,

About this life I'm willing to leave.
I lived it full and I lived it well,
There's many tales I've lived to tell.
I'm ready now,
I'm ready now,
I'm ready now to fly from the highest wing.

I had a dream....

The Average Hell House Stories Chapter 10:Figures of Destruction

Yes I should have gone with my gut instinct and flee from the scene before I am to be burned and scared with hatred words I would soon never forget.. With my exams around the corner these are the thoughts that keep flooding my mind with anxiety and distress.. Its driving me insane these ‘FIGURES’.. I have valid my options yet now the only thing that comes to my mind is an empty sheet of paper.. Am I so hideous on the outside that no one could take any consideration of me??!! Why do I now have to sacrifice those of what I ‘LOVE’ to the ‘FIGURES of DESTRUCTION’??!! So empty and sorrowless.. These vile pigments of black on my skin would soon demolish me for I am soon gone.. I am empty.. Neither full nor am I half empty.. But I am hollow inside..

Yes this is my pale spotted skin of which you spit on with your filth everyday that is dear to you.. CLEAN! CLEAN! She keeps ranting away as I fall in misery.. Then she screams aloud.. ‘YOU DIRTY SCRUFFY FILTH!’.. filth that is the description given to this ‘EMPTY’ idea.. TO HELL WITH THE FUCKING IDEA YOU FACIST PIG! (pardon my words).. Now.. Allow me to introduce you to some words that you’re not used to hearing.. ‘MEGALOMANIAC’ .. Commonly understood as a mental behavior characterized by an excessive desire for power and glory and by illusionary feelings of omnipotence. The latter can be expressed in the psychopathological form of delusions of grandeur. Megalomania can be understood as exacerbated narcissism in relation to the ideal ego. Ring a bell?? .. This I doubt ring’s any bell to your ears unless you’re a big fan of ‘Incubus’.. hmm I think I prefer that.. Don’t you? So tell me.. What is it that you see in the mirror?? Usually your answer would clearly be your reflection.. Though, I see nothing.. Even ants make greater statements these days..

Let us walk by the beech, shall we?? I think I it’s time I cleansed myself in shallow waters.. Should I drown? I know I won’t be missed.. Besides, just one out of the billions that die makes no difference at all or to anyone for that matter or to the world.. Because people die every day.. hmm.. The calm waters are calling and yet seem so very inviting.. Somehow I feel darts stabbing the devil out of me.. And guess who is stabbing?? Yet words among the many are still pointed at my direction.. Be it this the idea of thought that keeps spitting fire my way..

As I walk on thin ice feeling it crack & slowly shatter.. Suddenly a burst of ‘RANDOM’??!! I was at that instance, floating & yet drowning at the same time.. Breathless & lost between both worlds of which I wanted no part of.. I was terribly.. ‘SUFFOCATING’! Just as I was to feel my eyes flood the room with salty tear drops.. I tried to hold it in together with deep breathes one at a time.. As I walked into ‘Zara’.. The exact words that kept on repeating itself when the song selection changed was.. ‘I Love You Just The Way You Are’. Ironic isn’t it?? To think that in the midst of this burst of emotions.. There was a calling.. An indirect voice that felt my pain and emptiness.. Who would have ever thought that subliminal indirect messages could be sent in anyway, at any time as a sign??!! Go figures eyh?!.. Funny that feeling seemed somewhat familiar t o the voices I had head weeks ago.. The first of which awoke me.. A deep voice ‘UNDISCRIBABLE’ and certainly manly called to me in yet a stern tone..’ WAKE UP ALYA!!’.. Those were the exact words that shocked me.. Yes it was about the right time to wake up.. Following a certain number of events.. I was also alarmed when a friend told me of such grief news about the perspective of my ‘two faced, devilish classmates’ towards me.. It didn’t come as a surprise.. Yet somehow the voice was informing me & yet again for the second time that day later on around midday, I heard my name being called in the most eerie manor.. These calling of which seem like such a coincidence are not to be taken lightly.. This may be a calling from Allah s.w.t. I pray that my voice is heard to the ‘Allah the ALL Mighty’. I must say that I am more than depressed to find that people think I am insane.. Well if that is the case, then so be it.. I should rather be contented with my insane self that have to please others by which becoming something of what I am not!.. So yes, & goodbye to you.. No matter how remote I will be, I will still turn to the one & only true calling of which ‘FAITH’ is all you need.. So i turn to Allah s.w.t because your guidance continues to shine in the midst of darkness.. This light is the true..

The Average Hell House Stories Chapter 9.5:And So It Is So....

Awake To Speak The Notes Beautifully As Highlighted In Red

When every hello is goodbye,
You know you’ve seen the last of me,
Be sure to leave me here in silence,
I can’t trust you testing my patience.

My filler is wasted and now the time is due,
Tomorrow noon by the bust stop,
Whilst the skies are painted blue,
Assure me no words of crap.

When the sunrise is a dawning,
And the sunset glimmers with dismay,
Await for the last calling,
And the days when rain drops fall from the grey.

There in the garden of Eden,
Apples await a bite of desire,
They say beauty is lost once the fruit is bitten,
Just as love is and has been the lust you conspire.

Spices perfume the sky,
Though they don’t excite but intimidate,
Find me the bullet for the gun I buy,
So I can shoot myself right into the whole you broke.

The bitter stained and the words implemented,
The bruises and cuts wouldn’t wash of,
Keep me from this place of being engraved,
I wish not any part of it blackened in my life.

The Average Hell House Stories Chapter 9:Living Funeral

The storms were coming,
Though I didn’t mind,
People all over the world were dying,
So I closed my blind.

I tried to change the world,
Instead I fall asleep heavily breathing,
So I wrote you and sang aloud,
Though all it stopped was my heart from beating.

I promised that I would change the world,
Steps at a time I fall of a cliff,
To whom this heart once loved,
Has forever silenced these lips from grief.

We’ve lost hope of yours and mine,
The faith I kept was leaving,
I want to believe in more than you and me,
Though all I can do is keep breathing.

Though we may be worlds apart,
Fated at birth through precision,
I can’t bear that you stole my heart,
It wasn’t your decision.

You make life such a hard departure,
An exit at the moment of death,
To whom I give my life up to surrender my love,
You drown me leaving me gasping for my last breath.

If it is true that we are only spirits,
This body a suite for disguise,
Were just clumps of gasses,
Living gratefully would be wise.

I drift into the ocean,
Only to sink to the depths of the sea,
The love I had for you was without question,
So leave me a float in my watery graves at sea.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6tDjfVvRiz4