rned and scared with hatred words I would soon never forget.. With my exams around the corner these are the thoughts that keep flooding my mind with anxiety and distress.. Its driving me insane these ‘FIGURES’.. I have valid my options yet now the only thing that comes to my mind is an empty sheet of paper.. Am I so hideous on the outside that no one could take any consideration of me??!! Why do I now have to sacrifice those of what I ‘LOVE’ to the ‘FIGURES of DESTRUCTION’??!! So empty and sorrowless.. These vile pigments of black on my skin would soon demolish me for I am soon gone.. I am empty.. Neither full nor am I half empty.. But I am hollow inside..Yes this is my pale spotted skin of which you spit on with your filth everyday that is dear to you.. CLEAN! CLEAN! She ke
eps ranting away as I fall in misery.. Then she screams aloud.. ‘YOU DIRTY SCRUFFY FILTH!’.. filth that is the description given to this ‘EMPTY’ idea.. TO HELL WITH THE FUCKING IDEA YOU FACIST PIG! (pardon my words).. Now.. Allow me to introduce you to some words that you’re not used to hearing.. ‘MEGALOMANIAC’ .. Commonly understood as a mental behavior characterized by an excessive desire for power and glory and by illusionary feelings of omnipotence. The latter can be expressed in the psychopathological form of delusions of grandeur. Megalomania can be understood as exacerbated narcissism in relation to the ideal ego. Ring a bell?? .. This I doubt ring’s any bell to your ears unless you’re a big fan of ‘Incubus’.. hmm I think I prefer that.. Don’t you? So tell me.. What is it that you see in the mirror?? Usually your answer would clearly be your reflection.. Though, I see nothing.. Even ants make greater statements these days..
eps ranting away as I fall in misery.. Then she screams aloud.. ‘YOU DIRTY SCRUFFY FILTH!’.. filth that is the description given to this ‘EMPTY’ idea.. TO HELL WITH THE FUCKING IDEA YOU FACIST PIG! (pardon my words).. Now.. Allow me to introduce you to some words that you’re not used to hearing.. ‘MEGALOMANIAC’ .. Commonly understood as a mental behavior characterized by an excessive desire for power and glory and by illusionary feelings of omnipotence. The latter can be expressed in the psychopathological form of delusions of grandeur. Megalomania can be understood as exacerbated narcissism in relation to the ideal ego. Ring a bell?? .. This I doubt ring’s any bell to your ears unless you’re a big fan of ‘Incubus’.. hmm I think I prefer that.. Don’t you? So tell me.. What is it that you see in the mirror?? Usually your answer would clearly be your reflection.. Though, I see nothing.. Even ants make greater statements these days..
Let us walk by the beech, shall we?? I think I it’s time I cleansed myself in shallow waters.. Should I drown? I know I won’t be missed.. Besides, just one out of the billions that die makes no difference at all or to anyone for that matter or to the world.. Because people die every day.. hmm.. The calm waters are calling and yet seem so very inviting.. Somehow I feel darts stabbing the devil out of me.. And guess who is stabbing?? Yet words among the many are still pointed at my direction.. Be it this the idea of thought that keeps spitting fire my way.. As I walk on thin ice feeling it crack & slowly shatter.. Suddenly a burst of ‘RANDOM’??!! I was at that instance, floating & yet drowning at th
e same time.. Breathless & lost between both worlds of which I wanted no part of.. I was terribly.. ‘SUFFOCATING’! Just as I was to feel my eyes flood the room with salty tear drops.. I tried to hold it in together with deep breathes one at a time.. As I walked into ‘Zara’.. The exact words that kept on repeating itself when the song selection changed was.. ‘I Love You Just The Way You Are’. Ironic isn’t it?? To think that in the midst of this burst of emotions.. There was a calling.. An indirect voice that felt my pain and emptiness.. Who would have ever thought that subliminal indirect messages could be sent in anyway, at any time as a sign??!! Go figures eyh?!.. Funny that feeling seemed somewhat familiar t o the voices I had head weeks ago.. The first of which awoke me.. A deep voice ‘UNDISCRIBABLE’ 
and certainly manly called to me in yet a stern tone..’ WAKE UP ALYA!!’.. Those were the exact words that shocked me.. Yes it was about the right time to wake up.. Following a certain number of events.. I was also alarmed when a friend told me of such grief news about the perspective of my ‘two faced, devilish classmates’ towards me.. It didn’t come as a surprise.. Yet somehow the voice was informing me & yet again for the second time that day later on around midday, I heard my name being called in the most eerie manor.. These calling of which seem like such a coincidence are not to be taken lightly.. This may be a calling from Allah s.w.t. I pray that my voice is heard to the ‘Allah the ALL Mighty’. I must say that I am more than depressed to find that people think I am insane.. Well if that is the case, then so be it.. I should rather be contented with my insane self that have to please others by which becoming something of what I am not!.. So yes, & goodbye to you.. No matter how remote I will be, I will still turn to the one & only true calling of which ‘FAITH’ is all you need.. So i turn to Allah s.w.t because your guidance continues to shine in the midst of darkness.. This light is the true..
e same time.. Breathless & lost between both worlds of which I wanted no part of.. I was terribly.. ‘SUFFOCATING’! Just as I was to feel my eyes flood the room with salty tear drops.. I tried to hold it in together with deep breathes one at a time.. As I walked into ‘Zara’.. The exact words that kept on repeating itself when the song selection changed was.. ‘I Love You Just The Way You Are’. Ironic isn’t it?? To think that in the midst of this burst of emotions.. There was a calling.. An indirect voice that felt my pain and emptiness.. Who would have ever thought that subliminal indirect messages could be sent in anyway, at any time as a sign??!! Go figures eyh?!.. Funny that feeling seemed somewhat familiar t o the voices I had head weeks ago.. The first of which awoke me.. A deep voice ‘UNDISCRIBABLE’ 
and certainly manly called to me in yet a stern tone..’ WAKE UP ALYA!!’.. Those were the exact words that shocked me.. Yes it was about the right time to wake up.. Following a certain number of events.. I was also alarmed when a friend told me of such grief news about the perspective of my ‘two faced, devilish classmates’ towards me.. It didn’t come as a surprise.. Yet somehow the voice was informing me & yet again for the second time that day later on around midday, I heard my name being called in the most eerie manor.. These calling of which seem like such a coincidence are not to be taken lightly.. This may be a calling from Allah s.w.t. I pray that my voice is heard to the ‘Allah the ALL Mighty’. I must say that I am more than depressed to find that people think I am insane.. Well if that is the case, then so be it.. I should rather be contented with my insane self that have to please others by which becoming something of what I am not!.. So yes, & goodbye to you.. No matter how remote I will be, I will still turn to the one & only true calling of which ‘FAITH’ is all you need.. So i turn to Allah s.w.t because your guidance continues to shine in the midst of darkness.. This light is the true.. 
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